It was Friday, May 30th, a short week thanks to Memorial Day, and Riverdale looked beautiful as always. The sun was shining, and students were smiling as they walked onto campus. Little did they know that today was no ordinary day. The classic walk into Mow and up to the cafeteria felt strange, but that’s exactly how the seniors wanted it to feel.
9th-grader Oliver had just adjusted to Riverdale. He figured out a way to tell which lunch line was fastest; he made good use of the back entrance to 9/10 so he wouldn’t get trampled in the doorway, and he even found the coldest water fountain. But no Riverdale experience could prepare him for what he walked into on Friday. It all started when he entered the Caf and realized the tables were all covered in white linens.
Bowden woke up very eager that morning. He had endured three senior pranks, and it was finally his turn. All that week, he couldn’t stop thinking of the best ways he could make this senior prank as memorable as possible. This year’s prank was food-themed. The Caf had been transformed into a fancy dining room.
Oliver walked gingerly, knowing at any moment something could drop onto his head or he could be hit in the face by a water balloon. But as time went on, this nice restaurant in the Caf seemed more and more real. A JBL speaker was playing and even napkins were folded nicely for all the students.
Some students from the senior class were dressed in white button-down shirts and aprons with “Le Falcon” on it; they seemed to be the waiters. They greeted each student with copious respect: “Would you like still, sparkling, or the athletic trainer’s hose?”
Oliver and his friends couldn’t tell if this was a prank or some sort of school-sanctioned event. And if this was supposed to be the prank, why were they being treated so nicely?
Meanwhile, Bowden stood by the vending machines, arms crossed like a proud father. Operation Le Falcon was in full effect. He saw the text in his “Senior Prank” group chat: “Ready for Phase II.” He picked up his Capri Sun and stood in ready position. The lights flickered; the doors slammed and locked. The Fetty Wap came to an abrupt stop. Bowden launched his Capri Sun into the air with extreme nonchalance.
Oliver was terrified. He knew more was coming. He watched the flight of the Capri Sun carefully as it spiraled in his direction. It finally started to descend, and Oliver realized it was coming straight for him. He was drenched. Everything descended into chaos. Loaves of bread flew through the air, juice boxes exploded, utensils banged against walls. One unfortunate student was pelted with a meatball and was left unresponsive.
Students started to retreat to the terrace, doing anything they could to escape the warzone the Caf had turned into. But the prank wasn’t over yet. Rain poured down outside. It was as if the seniors could control the weather. And then, someone pointed. The football field was no longer green. It was completely covered with mashed potatoes.
That morning, hundreds of boxes of instant mashed potatoes had been dumped across the turf field. And now, activated by the rain, the field had become a swamp of mashed potatoes.
Oliver stood, soaked with juice and meat sauce, utterly confused by the mess of potatoes below. No one even spoke; there was nothing left to say. Why couldn’t they have just stuck to water balloons and slides like they had in past years?
Note from the Writers: While Bowden and I can say that this story is entirely fictional, we’d like to assure the administration and warn the students on behalf of the Class of 2025 that our Senior Prank is very real and very much in the works. It’s coming. Stay ready…
